Rhonda Hall

I have belonged to a writing group for close to nineteen years. We debated back and forth for a long time about the need for rules. Years ago, I took our real rules and twisted them a bit.

GENERAL RULES
We welcome all genres but the following: pornography, erotica, and non-fiction of any kind, and anything we don’t like. That means YOU!
Don’t discuss personal matters during the meeting, it’s not fair to rub you fantastic life into our faces. We’re here for one reason and one reason only, to ruin your life as you know it. When you leave the room crying we have met our goal. If you become a “regular,” you’ll get a members’ list with everyone’s telephone number, address, and electronic address for stalking purposes only. You can use these to keep your gossip greased or whine about these rules.
READINGS
Sessions on the first Wednesday of the month are reserved for readings only–no lessons. During the rest of the month, if there is time at the end of the meeting, members read portions of their works-in-progress. Tripping other members, so that you might take their spot is strictly forbidden, unless of course, I’m the one who doesn’t get to read.
The facilitator will determine the amount you may read. She/he also has the right to stop you if the work is offensive, inappropriate, or if you put us to sleep. If your work is putting everyone into a coma, congratulations you’ll probably be published in two months.

Don’t ask to read more than the allotted number of pages. (SELFISH) We don’t care if the Pulitzer deadline is just around the corner. You should plan ahead. Besides, we’re too wrapped up in wondering why we weren’t nominated to even listen. Please don’t take offense if members take out little dolls that look like you and stick pins in them. That pain in your neck is purely a coincidence. But not to worry, we have Chiropractors on retainer!

Do not explain your work. (Frankly, we don’t give a damn) If it requires explanation, then it isn’t ready for presentation. The setup should be included in the story. However, other members may ask that you bring them up to date. Do this as briefly as possible.(YAWN) We don’t need a psychological profile for each character, or for you, we don’t care that your mama spanked you.

To read the rest, please visit my blog.
http://rhondamhall.wordpress.com/201...itique-groups/