Rules for Critique Groups
byon November 3rd, 2012 at 02:25 AM (137 Views)
I have belonged to a writing group for close to nineteen years. We debated back and forth for a long time about the need for rules. Years ago, I took our real rules and twisted them a bit.
We welcome all genres but the following: pornography, erotica, and non-fiction of any kind, and anything we donít like. That means YOU!
Donít discuss personal matters during the meeting, itís not fair to rub you fantastic life into our faces. Weíre here for one reason and one reason only, to ruin your life as you know it. When you leave the room crying we have met our goal. If you become a ďregular,Ē youíll get a membersí list with everyoneís telephone number, address, and electronic address for stalking purposes only. You can use these to keep your gossip greased or whine about these rules.
Sessions on the first Wednesday of the month are reserved for readings onlyĖno lessons. During the rest of the month, if there is time at the end of the meeting, members read portions of their works-in-progress. Tripping other members, so that you might take their spot is strictly forbidden, unless of course, Iím the one who doesnít get to read.
The facilitator will determine the amount you may read. She/he also has the right to stop you if the work is offensive, inappropriate, or if you put us to sleep. If your work is putting everyone into a coma, congratulations youíll probably be published in two months.
Donít ask to read more than the allotted number of pages. (SELFISH) We donít care if the Pulitzer deadline is just around the corner. You should plan ahead. Besides, weíre too wrapped up in wondering why we werenít nominated to even listen. Please donít take offense if members take out little dolls that look like you and stick pins in them. That pain in your neck is purely a coincidence. But not to worry, we have Chiropractors on retainer!
Do not explain your work. (Frankly, we donít give a damn) If it requires explanation, then it isnít ready for presentation. The setup should be included in the story. However, other members may ask that you bring them up to date. Do this as briefly as possible.(YAWN) We donít need a psychological profile for each character, or for you, we donít care that your mama spanked you.
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