Short Story Structure: Putting it together

[jodi henley]

...sort of sounds like it should be a very long post, huh?

Welcome to the OS powerpoint, instead. Feel free to download it. I'd suggest you run it in slideshow mode because it works better that way. When you get to the animated slide just keep clicking and it'll turn into the next slide after the animation runs.

On day one we talked about the important of targeting. On day two we talked about finding your story events. One day three we talked about core events--and now we're going to talk about your stories. :)

Knowing what you know now, and keeping in mind this is a short story--tell me what happens when your buttons and your people meet your first story event? :)

[Sharon Marie]

Hi Jodi, I'm unable to open your power point presentation. Can you convert it to a doc. or pdf.
Thanks,
Sharon Marie

[greta-g]

I looked at the power point presentation and to answer your question, I think what happens next is her love kicks in and she refuses to believe their dead because there's no proof.

My first story event...is when Claire notices the power is out and it's pitch black. She is paralyzed with fear, until she hears a noise and realizes someone is trying to break in. Chad knows Claire's fear because he watches her...and it just so happens he's sneaking out of his house when he realizes someone is sneaking around Claire's. So he makes a life-altering decision to step up, out of the shadows and try to help the girl he's crazy about. At the same time Claire is filling up with anger, tired of being average, someone that doesn't stand out, someone people take advantage of. So, Claire's core event hits on her fear, then moves to her anger/hatred. Chad's core event connects with the story on his feelings for Claire, not his insecurities.

[meham]

I like the format of the power point to visualize and make not of the different events and how they physically intersect. Kind of like a moving mind map. Being Visual-Spatial that gives me another way to plan a story and not feel overwhelmed by possibilities. That overwhelm is one reason i don't plan stories out with too much detail.

m

[Jass Rowe]

Jodi, question. What happens if your characters core event hasn't happened yet? If they haven't been tested, haven't been through the fire, if you will?

[Anju Dimello]

What happens? Chaos ;) in a good sense...the instant clash of wills and too many superficial feelings, that actually mean more later ;) Attraction in spite of all odds - yes. This is between characters..

And when it comes to emotions - and they meet with something they feared / fear, and yet have to face - it is trial by torture ;) whoever emerges out is the winner and we expect the H/h to really come out, but not before struggling every inch of the way.

Example : say my heroine (normally shy type) who wants more, somehow garners courage to ask for more..and the time - is totally not right..since the hero, as we know is tortured by the worst - ie the fact that he may not be safe around his wife... He rejects her daring proposal. And thereby making her doubt her own convictions, her attractiveness..and creating a whole new spin of events, which he has to resolve later.. along with the story..

I hope I understood your question though.. :)

[Anika Daniels]

What happens? wrt Powerpoint I think that she doesn't believe they are dead. She knows they are alive. She believes that she would know if they are dead, and she does whatever it takes to find them and get them back. She chases down every single little lead.

wrt my story I'm thinking that maybe the inciting incident isn't enough. My heroine spills coffee over the hero when they meet. He's going to snap at her but she is so embarrassed and apologetic that he feels something for her, he doesn't want to upset her any more. Which is unusual for him.

[Meg Mims]

WOW - I love this Powerpoint slide thing. I also am so visual-minded, why didn't I think of doing this? LOL NOW I get the layers bit.

Mercedes AT THIS POINT cannot enter through the door, but I also like the idea of her standing on the threshold, and the kidnapper throws a chair. I would save the fire for the climax and just use a smoke bomb, so that she *thinks* there's fire but there really isn't -- this would deepen her guilt even more when she learns that, and fuel her determination to track this creep down and rescue her sisters. And when at the climax, there IS a real fire, that would really be tough for her to overcome, but she DOES. The hero can help her, but she must be the one to save them. IMO.

As for my story... NO idea. LOL. Is it easier to be a sounding board for others than figure out your own?? ;-D Hmmm. I guess in my short mystery, I've got an investigator who cannot fail (due to failures in his past) and a tricky puzzle -- who set up the robberies? And why? He's a very stiff, logical and unemotional guy (but it's in his head, all the doubts) and the idea of being fooled by someone cleverer sticks in his craw.

I think I need to research my other characters more before I can figure out the rest.

[Sharon Marie]

Clap, clap, clap...love powerpoint and this presentation. I think a fairy sprinkled dust on my computer and...poof...clarity in slide form. Thanks so much Jodi. What a great workshop!!!

[jodi henley]

Hi Jodi, I'm unable to open your power point presentation. Can you convert it to a doc. or pdf.
Thanks,
Sharon Marie
Not a problem, Sharon. :) You're going to be missing the animations on how a core event touches a story event, but I think the text works anyway. :)

[jodi henley]

Clap, clap, clap...love powerpoint and this presentation. I think a fairy sprinkled dust on my computer and...poof...clarity in slide form. Thanks so much Jodi. What a great workshop!!!

lol, Sharon. This is actually a sample of a couple of my workshops. I'm always building and tweaking things to see how they work in practical applications. I'm glad you like it! I enjoy workshops and want people to like being here too. :)

[jodi henley]

I like the format of the power point to visualize and make not of the different events and how they physically intersect. Kind of like a moving mind map. Being Visual-Spatial that gives me another way to plan a story and not feel overwhelmed by possibilities. That overwhelm is one reason i don't plan stories out with too much detail.

m

I don't use a lot of detail either--or at least, not unless I get stuck, then I think my way through and get going again. One day, I'm going to finish my 250words a day story. :)

Thanks to you I've started looking at presentation software again and rethinking my videos. There has got to be a good merge somewhere. I really want something where I can talk, and insert animations and...I dunno. Something to work on next month. :)

[jodi henley]

Example : say my heroine (normally shy type) who wants more, somehow garners courage to ask for more..and the time - is totally not right..since the hero, as we know is tortured by the worst - ie the fact that he may not be safe around his wife... He rejects her daring proposal. And thereby making her doubt her own convictions, her attractiveness..and creating a whole new spin of events, which he has to resolve later.. along with the story..

I hope I understood your question though.. :)

you did! And I like the way you understood a story event isn't always an interaction with stuff happening in the story (like a murder), but it can also mean interactions with other "people".

love that!

And I wanted to put "spin" into the core events but my animation skills are rusty. Yes, you're right. Interactions create reactions, which create spin which create more interactions...

it's how a character-driven story works.

((hugs))

thank you. :)

[jodi henley]

What happens? wrt Powerpoint I think that she doesn't believe they are dead. She knows they are alive. She believes that she would know if they are dead, and she does whatever it takes to find them and get them back. She chases down every single little lead.

You see that too. :) Yes. Because of her core event, she "believes", which makes this the inciting incident and triggers the story.


wrt my story I'm thinking that maybe the inciting incident isn't enough. My heroine spills coffee over the hero when they meet. He's going to snap at her but she is so embarrassed and apologetic that he feels something for her, he doesn't want to upset her any more. Which is unusual for him.

That's because you write character-driven stories, Anika. An inciting incident doesn't have to be as big or drive the story. Sometimes, it's just about two people who feel something for each other, and that something grows into a relationship.

It's why a lot of people have a hard time with contemporary romances and usually add some other kind of element to drive the story.

perhaps, after she spills coffee on him, he doesn't want to upset her anymore and invites her to sit down, and she covers her face with her hands because she's so embarrassed and he reaches over and touches the back of her hand.

Or...maybe he leaves and she finds him standing outside, waiting for a break in the rain to get to his car. And she offers to share her umbrella with him, and because of the coffee, he accepts.

gentle and subtle is good :) It's simply a different kind of story.

[jodi henley]

WOW - I love this Powerpoint slide thing. I also am so visual-minded, why didn't I think of doing this? LOL NOW I get the layers bit.

Mercedes AT THIS POINT cannot enter through the door, but I also like the idea of her standing on the threshold, and the kidnapper throws a chair. I would save the fire for the climax and just use a smoke bomb, so that she *thinks* there's fire but there really isn't -- this would deepen her guilt even more when she learns that, and fuel her determination to track this creep down and rescue her sisters. And when at the climax, there IS a real fire, that would really be tough for her to overcome, but she DOES. The hero can help her, but she must be the one to save them. IMO.
Nice!! There are many answers to the same question and all of them have to do with who you are and how you think. I like the way you have the fire as the heroine's proving ground at the end. It's a good layer. :)


As for my story... NO idea. LOL. Is it easier to be a sounding board for others than figure out your own?? ;-D Hmmm. I guess in my short mystery, I've got an investigator who cannot fail (due to failures in his past) and a tricky puzzle -- who set up the robberies? And why? He's a very stiff, logical and unemotional guy (but it's in his head, all the doubts) and the idea of being fooled by someone cleverer sticks in his craw.

I think I need to research my other characters more before I can figure out the rest.

hmmm...your story is such a challenge.

I suspect it's because it's so plot driven it needs to be approached as a story where the characters are simply there as a framework for the story itself.

In which case it's simply a matter of how convoluted you want to make it, and how many clues and red herring you feel like creating.

I would take it down another layer, and assume that the inspector will suspect the girl is guilty of trying to pin something on her dad. While...all along, it was the dad who realized(almost too late!) that the daughter was trying to put him away and set up the pseudo robbery to look like something he did (misplaced) while it also looked like something she did. "but" it really was him and the dad knows the inspector will carry it to the conclusion he wants--which is that the daughter is guilty (guilty "thoughts" are such a handicap in mysteries) and have her convicted. Which is what the dad wanted all along. :)

although the inspector will realize the dad actually did do it.

[greta-g]

I looked at the power point presentation and to answer your question, I think what happens next is her love kicks in and she refuses to believe their dead because there's no proof.

My first story event...is when Claire notices the power is out and it's pitch black. She is paralyzed with fear, until she hears a noise and realizes someone is trying to break in. Chad knows Claire's fear because he watches her...and it just so happens he's sneaking out of his house when he realizes someone is sneaking around Claire's. So he makes a life-altering decision to step up, out of the shadows and try to help the girl he's crazy about. At the same time Claire is filling up with anger, tired of being average, someone that doesn't stand out, someone people take advantage of. So, Claire's core event hits on her fear, then moves to her anger/hatred. Chad's core event connects with the story on his feelings for Claire, not his insecurities.

Hey, Jodi...here's my response...think you missed me. :-)

[jodi henley]

Hey, Jodi...here's my response...think you missed me. :-)

omg!! I remember reading that, but you're right. I totally missed it, just like I just remembered I forgot to post a response to Jasmine.

I'm so sorry, Greta :(

The best thing about workshops is that people find the answers that are inside them. I love this because it sets the stage for what happens to your people and how they transform. Sometimes the character arc in a short story is a little chopped off because of the length, but it looks like you have a full transformative character arc for both Claire and Chad.

Claire is definitely a person with issues she needs to work through--and she "needs" Chad. And Chad has a huge amount of potential, which he needs Claire to bring out. It's nice and tight, with two people who really "need" each other in ways that go way beyond being in the story together.

:) It has an incredible amount of potential

[jodi henley]

Jodi, question. What happens if your characters core event hasn't happened yet? If they haven't been tested, haven't been through the fire, if you will?

Hi Jasmine! :)

I saved your question for last because it was a good question and fell asleep. That's what I get for eating so much pizza.

Basically it just means that core events aren't really pegged to a certain time. I like to think of them as backstory, because most times they "are" part of backstory. But sometimes the inciting incident is actually the core event.

And for that let's go back to Mercedes and pretend her core event didn't happen and she's gone through life ignoring her sisters and wishing they'd just go away. Lot of kids out there wish their younger sibs would just vanish.

She hasn't been outright mean or malicious, but she has been indifferent and selfish. A core event gathers something like a constellation around it. The stuff on the inside, and all the things that flow out of it. Like...when Mercedes can feel love, that becomes a catalyst, so she can love, not just her sisters, but maybe...a pet? Someone who makes a difference in her life, but isn't part of her family? A cause?

In other words, when I mean focal point, it really is a focal point, because through the lens, you can "see" all of her.

without that lens, the Mercedes who existed before, exists through the focal point of a core event that has no bearing on the story. This Mercedes focal point is the day she realized her sisters have usurped her position and she's not cute, or the baby, but just an older sister.

So...let's take the uncaring Mercedes and give her the inciting incident as a core event.

She's being forced to watch her sisters. Again. She can't stand the little brats, always up in her business, intruding in her personal space. They use her stuff, they're always yammering at her, and worst of all--all the money from her crappy job goes into making sure the little bottomless pits have something to eat, and last week her entire paycheck went into school clothes and shoes for them.

See how the focus shifts?

The events of Mercedes life are the same. But the way she's looking at them is very different.

Now let's put her sisters in the ball pit and start the fire. The "ONLY" reason this Mercedes goes after her sisters is because her mom will yell at her if she doesn't bring the little brats home. She figures she'll run in, grab them and go out the other side. Dangerous, but no big deal since there are still people around. (remember, she has no hang up about fire since her core event never happened)

She runs inside, and sees the villain with her sisters and to make it bad, let's give one of them a rip in her shirt like the guy grabbed for her and missed. And they run for her screaming, "Mercedes!"

And the villain knocks Mercedes down, takes her sisters and runs--with her little sisters screaming and screaming.

A core event is a realization, and (you know, just as an aside, I was kind of worried about the whole Dwight Swain thing that maybe I'd lifted his stuff without realizing it, but I think m-r's and CE really "are" different, because the triggers are so different. This is almost an instant lock on certain event, like the concept of flashbulb memory, and m-r's are more an overall kind of thing) ...

so anyway, at that single point--where Mercedes is on the ground, hurting, and smoke is swirling around and her sisters are screaming and the door shuts with a click, cutting off the noise. Everything. All the events of her life in relation to her sisters becomes crystal clear with a totally different focus.

All the times they'd come sit in her room and talk. All the times they'd try to touch her, the times they'd leave precious snacks for her and she'd throw them back at them because she was angry and couldn't let go of her anger. They loved her and she couldn't make the "connection" until they were taken from her, because nothing happened to make her think.

She loves them too, and it's been dormant. All the times she'd casually give them stuff she didn't want anymore (even though she really did want it) or make them dinner (telling herself it was just to shut them up). The core event is Mercedes realization that she cares.

Even if she runs out the back door and finds them there, and the guy says he threw the chair at her because she looked crazy, it doesn't erase the fact that a core event came into being. It might allow Mercedes to play it off, but she'll still have the knowledge that her sisters mean something to her and create a softening.

In story context, though--it creates a drive which pushes the story forward in a slightly different way because the emotions and attitudes of this core event aren't the same as the old one.

the big pieces in this CE are self-hatred and the desire for a second chance. It makes the story very dark.

Mercedes the protector is a very different person from Mercedes the dark hero. One has control and the capacity for love, and the other has an almost vicious focus and the "potential" for being able to love.

come to think of it, I really like the second Mercedes better, lol.

[greta-g]

No worries, Jodi.

I've just so appreciated your input and thoughts this week. I didn't want to miss anything. Thanks so much!

[jodi henley]

No worries, Jodi.

I've just so appreciated your input and thoughts this week. I didn't want to miss anything. Thanks so much!

awww, hey--you're very welcome. :) You have a good grip on what makes a tight story and I've enjoyed having you here. Thanks for coming, Greta.

[meham]

But sometimes the inciting incident is actually the core event. YES! I mentioned something like that in the wrapping up thread. I like it especially in the context of worldbuilding. We get to meet a character, their context, get involved in the lives of the people around them, their histories. I think when we can make a home for ourselves among our characters we become better writers. Adventurers.


when I mean focal point, it really is a focal point, because through the lens, you can "see" all of her. So, this focal point could be the influence on what kinds of events become core events. The way a healer's sensitivity creates a specific kind of focus and you as the writer and we as the readers can expect certain behaviors. Then we can be surprised and pleased with the characters' responses, especially the ones that create core events. Like you said, the dark hero Mercedes was much more interesting. She might still behave in a self-centered manner but it might be something she can use to her advantage because she now knows there is more to her, that she has the capacity to be more.

So, when she is confronted by a potential love interest and he calls her selfish, she knows that she can be more than that and does the work to figure out how to let that part of herself out without there being some kind of crisis.

Am I beginning to get the hang of this?
m

[meham]

Thanks to you I've started looking at presentation software again and rethinking my videos. There has got to be a good merge somewhere. I really want something where I can talk, and insert animations and...I dunno. Something to work on next month.

::does the happy bunny dance::

Glad I could help. I'm a math geek wannabe and the best presentation of math I ever saw was an animation. Explains why I do watch cartoons so much still--good at spatializing processes.

(is it wrong to imagine a vacation as hanging out with you working on visual presentations? 0.o)
m

[jodi henley]

So, this focal point could be the influence on what kinds of events become core events.
Am I beginning to get the hang of this?
m

:) You've just made the jump from core events to the mechanics of core event structure. There's so much more to write. So much more to explain. Everything I know tells me how little I really know. It just keeps going, and it's solid--all the way through.

I'm glad we're on this journey together, meham. :)

[jodi henley]

(is it wrong to imagine a vacation as hanging out with you working on visual presentations? 0.o)
m

If you're going to Nationals this year, don't forget to look me up--we can take over a corner of the lobby and sketch out presentations. One day, this is going to lead somewhere, and we're going to have to be the next Robin Perini and Laura Baker and start a company or something. That'd be cool. Maybe do some Michael Hague like presentations, or maybe...omg! a gathering, where all the stuff character driven writers need to know is available. Like an RWA lecture series with a focus on people.

...damn those craft bunnies!

putting them back in the hat.

The future just grew again, and it's something to do with talking to you.

(((hugs)))

don't forget my email address okay? Random thoughts welcome.

[meham]

No Problem!!
m

[Edward Acker]

I like your ppt. But I think you're looking at it all wrong. You need to frame it in the context of journey through a new world/state and change. Read Kal Bashir's Hero's Journey work - he's the only one I know whose nailed it.

[jodi henley]

I like your ppt. But I think you're looking at it all wrong. You need to frame it in the context of journey through a new world/state and change. Read Kal Bashir's Hero's Journey work - he's the only one I know whose nailed it.

Hi Edward!

Whew, it's good to have feedback after such a long time away from this subject. :) Thank you.

I looked at Kal Bashir on your recommendation, and while I find everything fascinating (I'm such a craft geek, lol) I'm not really into monomyth or the Hero's Journey, seeing them instead as viable options on "personal journey", which to me is the journey of the writer through learning what craft works for them.

I've always felt, and I know you agree with me, that everyone should synthesize their own approach to writing, and I'll be the first to admit I only offer a single tool since I'm still learning myself.

I'm glad you liked the ppt. It's not perfect by any means. I'm always going back to my earlier work and re-working it in light of my current knowledge. I think I took a quantum leap during my last workshop on the arc and plot points and might need to revisit it.

Thank you again for dropping by. :) I appreciate your feedback! Have a happy and healthy holiday season and a peaceful New Year.

Jodi

[Anika Daniels]

If the sample that you can download from this Kal Bashir's website is an example of the stuff you get for forking out $200 to get the 510 or 2000 stages I think I'll be keeping my money in the bank. Maybe I'm missing something but it seems to be an exercise in using a lot of words to say very little.